Choice continued

My last post was bout choices so today I thought that I might write something about the reason for the choices we make. This is of course different from person to person and from situation to situation. All I can do is to start from myself and my choices. When I applied for upper secondary school I chose between two options, arts and International Baccalaureate. The choice I made was based on two very important aspects.  One, what is expected of me, and two, what might I be good at. Things that I didn’t consider was what I wanted and what would make me happy. So from these criteria I chose the prestigious International Baccalaureate program. I wouldn’t have been the person I am today if I would have chosen differently however I still wonder if I made the choice for the right reasons, or rather I didn’t make that choice for the right reasons. this example as well as many others in my life I’ve made due to my idea of others expectations and by rationalizing my emotions into something not worth considering.
As I wrote earlier the choices we make can define us and change us and also change the reasons to why we make the choices we do. I’ve been in two relationships in my life I was the one breaking both of them up, for different reasons. The first one I ended because I was afraid to introduce my girlfriend to my parents, the other one was because I knew I couldn’t give my ex boyfriend what he needed to be happy. None of these choices was based on what I wanted, I didn’t fight for any of them, I just gave up.
Something happened a while back and I decided to base my choices in my heart even if it makes things harder and more painful, I believe it makes me happier. It does also make me a bit more unstable however I believe it’s worth it. So what I’m saying is that even if we have different reasons for the choices we make, they somehow stem out from who we are and how comfortable we are with changing the directions of our lives.
Have a lovely day
Love Ann
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