The joy you bring me

I’ve been told that when I write I have a tendency to do so with a touch of darkness or sadness rather, so for those of you who don’t know me or do I’m going to explain myself a bit.

I have experiences both dark and light but growing up I was, let’s simplify and say lonely and alright quite miserable. That has of course tainted the way I view the world and not as you might expect. To me the world is beautiful, the people in my life are ALL shining stars each and everyone remarkable in their own way. I’m an undying never-ending hopeful optimist. I just have difficulties viewing myself in a particular optimistic way. When I turn my thoughts inwards I start nitpicking on the stuff I believe others don’t like about me, however as a friend of mine said “we are all the same if you want to know what someone is thinking just use yourself as a reference” (not a direct quote). So if I belive in the best in people and see their beauty in their shining eyes why would not other see me in the same light? It’s quite simple, I don’t. I am not a sad person, sure I have my ups and downs and my downs are deep but my ups are euphoric. I’d rather have my heart crushed because I hoped and believed than to be scar-free and never feel anything.

With that out-of-the-way this post is really about something else, someone else, than me.

As the title suggest this is an ode to you, you know who you are.

Blood or no blood, you are a part of me. We might fall out of touch or fall out all together, but we will always find our way back to each other.  We grew up together and changed each other, we’ve helped one another and always have each others back. We might bicker and quarrel but in the end I hold nothing but love for you in my heart. You have made me strong,  given me role models and made me who I am today. I am thoroughly thankful and proud of the sisters I have, blood or no blood, you are a part of me.

You have given me the strength to carry on. You have provided me with a safe haven where I can fall apart. You have loved me unconditionally even through my most moronic endeavours. Without you I would not be here today, literally not be here. You are more than just filling a space in my life you fill me and you shape me. No matter how close we are or have been, know that you are an important part of my life and my history. You make me laugh and you let me cry. You are the foundation I need to keep myself grounded and I love each and every one of you with all of my heart. You are the strength I need to carry on.

I had you once and I’ll have you again, not you but someone who makes me feel the way you used to. This is for you, past and around the corner. You make me smile when I want to cry and let me cry when I’m desperately trying to smile. You stroke my hair back, look me in the eye and kiss the tip of my nose. You make me feel comfortable and safe in my own skin. You make me feel like a warrior princess, fierce, strong, beautiful and unique. You allow me to grow and you show me a new world each day. With you I love waking up to start a brand new beautiful day and don’t fear falling asleep as I know you’ll protect me in my dreams. You make the world sing, the colours brighter and you make myths come to live. You make me grander, better, sweeter. I had you once and I’ll have you again, someday,  someway.

You are a part of me, of my past, present and future. You make a difference to me and I hold you close to my heart.

Let love strengthen you and let others know that they make a difference. 
All my love Ann